Dear Revenge Guy,
I
totally need your help.
My life is in a complete mess. Me and
my friend had a strong friendship for a long five years. We totally
understood each other but now she's accusing me of lying and a total
fraud maker. I feel totally angry, sad and hurt. But there's more.
After that my next best friend got
influenced by her and now they both are influencing the rest of
everybody in my class and now everybody hates me. Even the most
nicest person in class won't talk to me. Whoever I make friends with
will talk to me but will ignore me afterwards.
These two of my best friends kept on
talking behind my back. I feel extremely hurt. Once they asked my
friend to tell me something, and my friend just looked at me and
told me. She said that my old friend who became my heartbreaker said
she wanted to be my friend again. Then when I was eating she told me
that whatever my friend said was the exact opposite and that I suck
and she hated me and she's my worst enemy. I felt like using a knife
and slashing her throat. She even asked a girl to say "Hi Paula,
(pause) do I even know that you're here??"
I wanted to tear them all apart. When
I came to the library, my two old buddies saw me and the second one
said "Arrrrrgggghhhh. Ewwwww.The freak loser is here. Run for your
life Melody!" Melody was the first one who broke my heart. I cant
believe it. I feel like slashing my wrists.
Painful life
Hi
Painful,
This isn’t a revenge issue, you need to talk this over with your
parents.
It’s a sad part of life but teens do act this way…. Friends first,
making snide little comments later to build themselves up and tear
others down.
It’s really a low self-esteem issue that they have and are forcing
on you.
Don’t fall for it.
Don’t play their evil little game anymore.
The next time someone says anything like that to you just look them
straight in the eye and say “Why would you say anything like that?”,
or “Why would you think that?”, then just walk away, not waiting for
an answer, with your head held high and pride intact.
Don’t start an argument. Prove your maturity by not even considering
what they have to say unless it’s an apology. Nothing else will do.
Giving the mature answer/response will put these kids in their
place. Maybe not immediately but once they understand that you’re
not playing any more (by giving them the upset/almost in tears
reaction they are trying to get from you) they’ll tire of the game
and start to wonder why you aren’t playing any more.
It’s a hard fact of life but this happens many times to many teens…
likely more than we’ll ever know but certainly to tens of thousands
even this very day.
So, no revenge advice here… talk to your parents (or another trusted
adult or teacher) and don’t play their little game anymore.
You’re a better person, you just have to prove it to yourself.
Dear Revenge Guy,
I love
your website, and now I need your help.
I have/HAD this friend, let's call her
Silvia. I moved to this city in January 06, and she was really nice
to me at school and we became friends, walked home together (we live
in the same complex), and did stuff together. She told me I was her
best friend. And I was naive enough to believe her. She liked this
guy, let's call him James. I helped her get him.
And then it was summer. I didn't get
ONE call from her.
In the new school year, Sept. 06 to
June 07, we just drifted farther apart. We both had this other
friend, let's call her Sandra. I became really good friends with
Sandra - she was now the one I could really call my "best friend,"
because she listened to me rant, she saw me cry, she gave me hugs
when I was sad, she made me laugh, she called me, she was never too
busy with her boyfriend to make room for me in her life.
Then came summer 07. And again, not
one call, hell, not even one email from Silvia. She didn't return
mine so I was like, fine, be that way. She's still going out with
James.
This year, me and Silvia have
English together - and she doesn't even look at me. There are these
two other girls in my class. They are now the ones that she hangs
out with. And she ignores me.
And then one day I heard her say a
load of sh** about Sandra. I was so pissed - she was calling her all
these names and saying things that she didn't deserve. I just glared
at her and left, cuz we had break - and then I told Sandra, and she
told all my other friends - cuz we have the same friends. And even
James was pissed at Silvia - because he's one of her good friends
too.
So right now I'm not hanging out with
Silvia like we used to at the place where we used to, even though we
didn't even talk, it was just my other friends that hung out with
James at lunch. It's just her and James. At first he was pissed at
Silvia and now he's back to snogging her. I can't believe him.
Got any ideas on how to get back at
her? And possibly even him? She gets really jealous at girls that
even talk to him. I seriously can't believe her - she traded me and
Sandra and everyone that goes with me and Sandra for two bimbos - a
manlike blonde, and a weak ugly wh---, and ignores us when she used
to call us her best friends. (I can't do anything with alcohol, cuz
we're all under 21, sadly...)
Thanks!!
Hi,
You aren’t asking for revenge advice, you’re wondering why you had a
friend, lost that friend and now she is mean towards you.
I hate to say this, but that is life at your age.
Grow up, be the better person.
You really want help with this?
Talk to your parents, they know you better (hopefully) than I do.
Why you actually care is beyond me? Are you the type to hold a
grudge for no apparent reason?
I don’t care who introduced who to whom… who dated who… nothing out
of the ordinary has happened to you.
Face it head on, stop playing in the shadows where you’re an even
bigger target.
The next time Silvia is with her “group” just walk up to her and say
“Why do you keep avoiding me?” When she gives you a snide cutting
remark back say to her “Huh, I thought that was you.”
And walk away.
Your job is done, and so is mine.
Dear RG,
I
have 'good' friends from my sports team.
They used to treat
me like normal friends treat each other but since late October
they've been complete assholes. They always go out of their way to
shun and ostracize me, just to make me feel bad. Whenever I confront
them about this they always apologize and say it was all in fun, but
then the next day they started doing it again.
A week ago they
started calling me "it" and "Hey You!" My sport is too important for
me to quit but these guys have really gotten under my skin. I want a
way to make them realize that what they are doing sucks and does not
feel good to make them stop, but I don't want to throw in the towel
on our friendship either. Please help me out here. I don't know what
to do anymore!
Hi,
Let me tell you, I can see it from here, that big bull’s-eye target on
your back.
Are these guys really your friends? It sounds more to me that they are
making fun of you to spite your supposed friendship.
They are using that hold against you. Trust me, they aren’t friends.
Real friends get the idea when they hurt another friend’s feelings.
Now then, you really don’t want revenge do you?
You just want them to stop.
They won’t.
No matter what I tell you to do, you won’t because you think they are
your friends.
They might be nice sometimes, but not on the field.
You have to figure out why that is. Who are they trying to impress?
The coach? Another player/teammate?
Are their girls watching?
There has to be some reason for them to tear you down while they
(immaturely) try to build themselves up.
What you do next time is this :
Walk up to whoever says the ‘second’ thing to you, (there is a leader
and a follower, even with just two people doing the harassing) and
quietly say “You know that everyone knows you really don’t belong here”.
Say it quietly, so only the one person can hear.
And walk away. Confidently, smiling. Yelling “Hi” to someone farther
away, like you’re a big movie star, getting some recognition for
exposing the crime of a lifetime.
And now you know what to do.
And talk to your parents, I’m sure they want to help you with this.
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